The funerals are over. We said goodbye to John McNamara on Tuesday at the University of Maryland. In the days since the rampage in the Capital Gazette offices that killed John, Rebecca Smith, Wendi Winters, Gerald Fischman and Rob Hiaasen, family, friends and colleagues have gathered to say a final farewell.
We have many regrets, but perhaps none greater than this one: We regret we didn’t know our friends better.
Whether you work with someone for 26 years or six months, a job friendship often comes with some boundaries. They’re usually set by mutual agreement, often unspoken but acknowledged. Do you talk about families? Sports? Politics? Or just the job? Past the widget, please.
So, as we have said goodbye, we’ve discovered we have regrets.
We regret that we didn’t talk to Gerald more about his family, which was clearly the center of his life rather than his work as a journalist. We would have loved to ask him about his poetry, but also more about his travels.
The notion of John McNamara dancing strikes us as wonderful and would have made knowing him a completely different experience, and yet the photos displayed at his service clearly showed him grooving to some song. We regret we never saw that or talked more about music.
We regret we didn’t ask Rob Hiaasen one more question about his favorite singer, James Taylor.
We knew he interviewed him early his career but seeing a photo of a curly-haired younger Rob actually asking the questions made us want to hear one more time how he was so star struck he flubbed it.
And why did Rob never tell us he swiped an album from his sister?
Wendi, we regret that she couldn’t get any more blood from us. It had been years since the bloodmobile pulled into our parking lot. But we always thought there would be one more PR Bazaar so you could get us to talk to nonprofits who want our help.
And Rebecca, we regret that we never asked you what living in Dundalk was like, or knew more about the plans you had for the little girl who was going to be your daughter.
If you’re headed to work today, look around your office or your shop or the work floor.
What do know about the people who share your days with?
We lost five people we thought we knew, and the past two weeks have shown us there was so much more to learn.
We regret we didn’t know them better.
— The Capital Gazette
