One connoisseur described the beverage’s exquisite “vaguely mild sweetness.” He extolled its “nice smooth mouth feel, nothing that overwhelms the flavor profile.”
The latest pricey pinot? A fine vintage Bordeaux?
No, he was talking about “raw water” — unfiltered, untreated, unsterilized H2O fresh from somewhere other than a treatment plant.
Bottling companies in this fast-burbling industry are seeking to cash in on the next fresh thing. Devotees claim their water is better than tap for many reasons. It doesn’t have added fluoride, cavity fighter and bete noire of conspiracy theorists. It doesn’t pass through lead pipes. It doesn’t undergo the “wrong” kind of filtration that removes beneficial minerals and healthful probiotic bacteria.
What do we think? We think this is a potentially magnificent revenue stream (sorry) for Chicago. Introducing: Absolutely Raw Lake Michigan Water. It’s clean(ish), except for those occasional oil, chemical, heavy metal and sewage-laced stormwater releases. Sniff the seaweedy bouquet, with a hint of zebra mussel. Swish it around. Nice sandy finish.
And for the truly adventurous, quaff a pungent, spicy glass of All Natural Completely Untouched Chicago River Brewed Water. This is a boutique brand that will command premium dollars because it is guaranteed to produce a memorable experience, should you survive.
Sure, we can see how some people freak out when they hear the traces of all the stuff that can be in the water. In 2008, Tribune reporters tested samples of Chicago water and found tiny amounts of an anti-seizure drug, a common painkiller, caffeine and two chemicals used to make Teflon and Scotchgard.
Ewwww. But as we reported then, and today remind potential raw water aficionados, this isn’t surprising — or a health risk.
Nor is detecting such traces of impurities only a Chicago phenomenon. Authorities nationwide have detected bad stuff in tap water: dozens of prescription and over-the-counter drugs as well as chemicals from personal care products, food packaging, clothing and household goods.
Why? Because much of what goes into people and animals and the ground comes out again … and eventually finds its way into the water. Filtration systems clean drinking water but don’t completely remove every impurity.
Important Point 1: These tests do not show that tap water is unsafe.
Important Point 2: Water siphoned from a supposedly pristine stream or spring might be tainted. Naturally occurring elements such as arsenic and radon can contaminate groundwater. Runoff from pesticides or other chemicals pose huge risks.
“Modern municipal water treatment is one of the all-time greatest public health achievements,” Commissioner Debra Shore of the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago reminds us. “Many thousands of people — maybe more! — used to die from cholera, typhoid and other waterborne diseases. No longer — at least in the developed world where we have excellent water utilities. It is simply reckless to revert to untreated sources of water because they’ve been pitched as ‘pure’ or ‘raw.’ When I go camping I bring a water filter because even the purest mountain streams can have harmful bacteria. Talk to anybody who’s gotten giardia from drinking water from clear mountain streams.”
Something better than Lake Michigan’s (treated) best? Sorry, but that sales pitch doesn’t hold water.
— Chicago Tribune
Free-range fair-trade conflict-free artisanal organic water.
What could possibly go wrong?