Parents have these long lists of Most Important Dates for their keiki, starting with the birthday and advancing to first steps, first words, first teeth, first day at school and on it goes. The itemization of big moments never seems to end until the house is empty.
You might think it would get easier as it goes along, but most parents know the discipline and oversight never really eases up and right now, there are ohana decisions being contemplated that will arguably be the most important choice a girl or boy graduating high school will ever make in terms of their careers, their futures.
That’s why there are so many independent websites proclaiming themselves to be experts on where your high school athlete should go to college. By this point after the senior year, a lot of those decisions have been made, but for the ones still deciding — and the ones who have a rising senior athlete — the pressure to decide seems to grow on a daily basis.
You can spend hundreds for the advice of someone you don’t know, or you can listen to what an experienced Hilo resident who has been through it all himself, then became a teacher and a coach on the Big Island has to say.
This is free advice and it doesn’t get any better for anyone from Hilo to absorb and follow. Decades ago, Joey Estrella left UH Hilo to attend school at San Fernando Valley State, now known as Cal State-Northridge, and it didn’t work out.
Long story short, Estrella spent a frustrating week in California where NAIA restrictions at the time prevented him from playing and filled lasses meant he couldn’t get the courses he wanted.
He returned home and later graduated from UH-Manoa and while his path in those days won’t be replicated for a variety of reasons, his experience as a recruiter is gold-worthy in its insight.
“I didn’t know the feeling of sending one of my own kids off to school until I had to do it myself,” Estrella, the long-time former UHH baseball coach said last week. “It’s a tough thing to do when you realize this means a new world for them, and you want to do everything you can to make sure they make the right decision.”
When he travelled with his own son to look at schools on the mainland, Estrella realized more clearly than ever the three most important elements in the choice of college.
For instance, if your daughter happens to be, say, a volleyball player receiving some offers for partial or full tuition money, don’t be immediately sold by what seems the best financial offer.
It’s about academics, athletics and social influences at the specific school. Parents need to help their aspiring athletes find a place that maximizes all three and the sneaky one not to be overlooked is often the social consequences of the move.
Keep in mind, the best school is not necessarily the one that will defray the most expenses, it will be the one that helps with finances, seems to be a match academically and athletically and has the social atmosphere that encourages both of the first two elements.
Estrella says many parents don’t grasp the reality that there are far more ways to cut tuition costs through academics than there are with athletics. If your son or daughter can combine academic achievement with athletic accomplishments, your chance to save money just took off like a rocket ship.
“The best thing you can do, as a parent, is investigate, thoroughly, the options,” Estrella said. “Parents need to get involved at a pretty significant level, not to make the decision for the son or daughter, but to provide all the right information to make the right decision.
“The social aspect,” he said, “is a huge deal that can often be slighted.”
He knows that from recruiting mainland players to Hilo to play baseball and attend classes at UHH, and he sees the other side of it from the locals who go away and come back to tell their stories.
“You can do a lot more now with social media, you can take a virtual tour of most places online and you can get a lot of research done we couldn’t do years ago,” Estrella said. “But you still need to dig for more.”
As a coach at UHH, Estrella wanted to know as much about the recruit as the recruit wanted to know about him and the school.
“The last thing I wanted was problems when (the recruit) arrived,” he said. “I would talk to the parents ahead of time and ask, ‘Does he have a car? Does he need a car? Does he plan to stay in a dorm? What about medical and dental treatment while he’s here?’
“Hilo is unique, some get it right away, some, it takes a while, but it grows on you so I tried to explain as much as I possibly could to the parents.”
Switch that around if you have a son or daughter thinking about taking some tuition money to go to school on the mainland.
And think about the social implications of the school in question, more than just a little bit, it is the thing that doesn’t go away.
What does a big city environment and all the social implications mean for a Big Island freshman? How about a school in a remote location, a college town separate from the big city? Local law departments can help on security and safety issues. If you’re sending a daughter away, would you know that the school has an accelerated rate of sexual attacks if you didn’t ask?
That’s the big point, you can’t ask enough questions.
“I would do what I did as a recruiter,” Estrella said. “When I was recruiting a kid who seemed almost too good to be true, I would call another school that played against them regularly and ask, ‘I’m looking at a kid from so-and-so school, what kind of program do they have?’”
Don’t stop asking questions. Is the school good in the sport? Go look at their standings on a conference website. Anyone from there you’ve heard of? Analyze the track record, shop comparatively.
The ohana that takes Estrella’s advice to heart will be the one that is best able to locate a great place for their son or daughter to begin college and get the most out of the experience.
And if they save some money by not paying for the advice, nobody is about to complain.
