How to fix it
False missile alert scandal, top 10 solutions:
10. Massively investigate Russian hacking of the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
9. Offer Kim Jong-un a free annual Hawaii vacation for as long as we live.
8. No high-tech alerts; just have officials wave their arms wildly and shout from the roof, “We don’t know what we’re doing.”
7. Switch to progressive alerts, such as “Missile Watch,” “Missile Advisory,” “Missile Warning” and, finally, “Missile Kaboom.”
6. Make sure our sewers are clean and well-stocked.
5. Extend rail to California so everybody can evacuate.
4. Give Gov. David Ige a cereal box decoder ring with emergency passwords so he won’t forget again.
3. Install alert-triggered “medicinal” marijuana dispensers everywhere in case of panic.
2. Push button by committee (also include a token Republican member, so any “watchdog” input can be ignored).
1. Hire people that give a damn, instead of only the politically connected.
Good job, police
According to the Tribune-Herald, Hawaii Island police have made about 540 arrests, from warrants to major felonies, and hundreds of other crimes in between, in just the month of January 2018.
More than 1,000 DUI arrests also were made in 2017.
For those of you who complain about our police “not doing anything,” check the facts first before passing judgment. Even with a shortage of personnel, these numbers reflect the proactive approach our men and women in blue are taking for our safety and to combat crime.